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Saturday, April 26th, 2008
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So, after four years of not using my LJ, I've decided to start using updating again. While I'll still use my Blogdrive account for random things, I'll primarily use the LJ for stuff about my life.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, August 25th, 2003
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Well, everything is going along just fine. I'm all settled into the new place, and had a good two weeks to get everything set up before classes started. Having the past two months off was exactly what I needed to clear the past year from my mind. For the first time in a while, I'm actually relaxed and giddy again.
The summer went by quickly, but it was alot of fun. I managed to see three movies for free. First, through Pat's free tickets to "Terminator 3;" then using the tickets Whitesy won during that preview, I got to see "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen;" while seeing that, I won tickets to see "Tomb Raider." On top of those I saw alot other movies too.
Probably one of the highlights, movie-wise, was the "Freddy vs. Jason" pre-show, of course followed by "Freddy vs. Jason." Pat, Ben, Anna, and I watched most of the "Friday the 13th" movies, and Elm Street movies in three days. We also rated them, expect a transcript of the big board soon.
I also got some reading done, not as much as I wanted, but still a decent amount. Harry Potter was great, and I'm finally making a dent in my alternative history books. Lump in some occult reading for good measure, and you have excitement.
Of course, the chilling at the shop is probably the thing that happened most frequently this summer. I'm getting a pretty decent look at the metaphysical community of this area. Some good, some bad, but hey I can fix that.
I'm really happy to have Ben down the road. We got to tube, and hang this summer, but its gonna rock having my best friend full time in the same city again...that hasn't been the case for five years. I'm really pleased with the circle I've got around here. True, I have no gay friends here, but I'm not really minding that much. I might go to ODU's group and check it out, or I might not. I haven't decided yet. One nice thing about this summer is I've finally gotten my head out of my ass in regards to relationships. Mainly realizing that I don't need one, deep down, don't really want one. For the first time in a while, I'm really happy with the way things are.
I'm back in physical therapy trying to get my shoulder pain under control. Hopefully it will work. The therapist seems to have some idea about why everything is so tender and swollen and actually seems concerned about the fact that at 23 I can't be that active without pain. One of the goals of these sessions is for me to resume full recreational activity. So that makes me happy. Plus he's giving me some coping tips to help control the pain, especially at night so I can sleep more. It still hurts most of the time, but not as severly as before.
So, overall, I'm ready for school to start tomorrow, ready to get back to college and kick academic ass. I officially dub this summer the summer of good.
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Quote of the summer:
My Grandma: (In reference to a suitor) I wouldn't want him if he had a gold dick.
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Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
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So, here I am, at fucking 1:00 in the morning, and I can't get to sleep because the right side of my body hurts too damn much to lay down. I haven't slept more than 5 hours a night for the past week. I'm so fucking sick of having constant pain from my right bicep to my lower back. I went to the doctor today, and of course he doesn't have a damn idea what's wrong with me. So, according to him, and everyone in the god damn world, I'm perfectly fine. He just sent me to PT for a few weeks. I'm so fucking sick of being told I'm fine. I guess, since everything's so dandy I'm just imagining the shooting pain that stays in my shoulder blades all day, so much so that I can barely lean back against a damn chair or even sleep on my back. Its starting to hurt so much that I can't even fall asleep on my stomach anymore. On top of all of it, the fucking insurance company of the asshole that hit me is saying none of it is there fault. Maybe I'll just start taking a shitload of painkillers, so I'm a walking numbfuck.
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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003
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Well, its been almost 20 days since my last update, bad Scott. Alot has happened, most good. My birthday was alot of fun, with alot of cool things happening. There really haven't been any developments of great importance prior to this week. I've been hanging with Rory alot, either at Moon Dance, or the pool; Ben got me a kicking gift certificate for Amazon.com/Borders, which helped to feed another occult book shopping spree (yay, Henry Aggripa's Four Books, plus stuff by Elphias Levi)
Though, the big news is my new place! I found a pretty nice apartment in Ghent, right behind the Naro. Its a one bedroom with a full kitchen and sorta dining area. Not too expensive and in a good part of Norfolk. Not only that but its about five minutes from school. I should be moving in around the first of August. The only draw back is the fact that its on the third floor, which means alot of steps to move in. So, I'm probably going to hire movers to deal. Most of you have seen my couch, I have no desire to try to lift that thing up three flights of tiny-ass stairs.
So, once more my luck with finding apartments carried through, considering this place was probably the third I called, and I only started looking yesterday. Even my dad was like "wow, when you decide you want a place, you get one." Also in the good, my old apartment in Williamsburg was rented out, so I won't be paying rent in August YAY. All in all I'm excited about moving, I think its gonna be really cool going back to school, living full time back on the Southside, and being next to my people again...I don't think Ben and co realize how happy I am being back near them fulltime. It just rocks to be with your best friend again. ODU won't be the same after we're done.
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Quote of the past 15 or so days:
Malory (my five yearold cousin): Boys are dicks.
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Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
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Yesterday, I was at the mall with the parentals doing some birthday shopping and we saw Mayor Myra at Dillards. She was attempting to return lipstick. It was amusing to see our leader at a cosmetics counter, and hear her say first off "What do you have to do to get the free bag." What was not amusing was her outfit. She was wearing a denim suit! A freakin denim skirt suit with purple cuffs. Who in God's name made that, and who in God's name told her she should buy it, and who in God's name let her buy it. And how could her husband let her leave the house wearing it! It was hideous. I feel the need to write her a letter explaining why not to wear that, and how concerned I am as a citizen of Virginia Beach to see our spokesperson dressed like that. Expect an illustration on my soon to be website.
I think I'm suffering from enui in a big way. All I do is sleep and feel bored and blah. Not to mention I've been really moody. Any suggestions for defunking myself would greatly be appreciated. As a plus, the lawsuit is official. My lawyer sent me copies of letters sent to both State Farm and the kid that hit me saying that they are being sued. Hopefully the doctors will mail everything quickly and it will be resolved soon.
I started playing "Alice" again, as if I weren't weird enough. That game is good on so many levels. The only part I'm not a fan of is the Jabberwocky. He's way too skinny and lame. The Jabberwocky should be huge and scary. Though, that's a permissable mistake, considering how cool everything else is.
Next Tuesday is my birthday. I'm hoping it will be good. My birthday's tend to be either really good or really bad. Like the year Mrs. Brown died on it, or when I had my tonsil's out. Or my personal favorites, the two years I was in relationships that were soooo on their way to crashing and burning. But, no surgery is scheduled, no sick people are in my life, and the odds of me getting a date between now and next Tuesday are kinda slim, so everything should be good.
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Quote of the day:
Chesire Cat: To complete Staff, you will need the eye of the Jabberwock. And even though he has two, I hear he's fond of them both.
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The past few days have been fun. I've managed to avoid another July 4th! I spent the day playing the Sims and watching season 1 Angel on DVD. Yesterday was cool for many reasons. I finally got my ass to church, and then found out the team that made "Alice" the fucked up computer game is now doing the Wizard of Oz! Sadly it will be a year or so before it comes out, but still...Oz! I fully intend to buy one of the flying monkies. Pat has already given clearance for it to be in the apartment we might be getting. I really hope his job works out...he'd be a great roommate.
As per usual, today was spent at Moon Dance chatting it up with Rory, who is quickly becoming one of my favorite people. She and I set a date for our roadtrip to the occult shops in New England, so hopefully everything will workout as planned. I think it would be alot of fun. Dorene came in to the store too, the Santarian. She apparently is having troubles with some forces in her house. So, I think Rory and I may end up going over there to do an exorcism. Which, lately seems to be the only occult thing I can manage. Though, I have no problem helping her out.
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Quote of the Day:
Pat: Well, instead of translating it, can't you just speak Latin to it?
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The past few days have been pretty fun. Sadly the roadtrip for this weekend had to be called off due to a tragic hornet's nest incident (Ben stepped in one yesterday) So, hopefully it will be rescheduled, especially since I missed last years trip. I also have an appointment with a lawyer Monday to discuss my insurance claim. Hopefully that will all end quickly and in my favor. The paralegal on the phone sounded hopeful, plus he's paid on percentage, so I know he'll get more than $500. At this point, as nasty as it sounds, I want to cause as much cost for State Farm as possible.
I was able to hang with Pam and Amanda last night, which rocks especially since I haven't seen Pam since Christmas. And to my surprise, Pam lost 100 pounds! She looks amazing. If she can do that in six months, then I have no excuse not to get buff, so I have to start working out again. So, thanks Pam for re-motivating me.
I've finished "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," which rocked. Though now I have no excuse to keep shirking on my occult reading. I started Gray's "Qabalah Concepts" and am about 1/3 done. The only weakness is the fact that Gray is a reincarnationist....which drives me crazy. I hate how all of these "masters" of the Western tradition keep rambling about past lives, when the Qabalah is clearly rooted in Judeo-Christian theology, which is clearly not a theology which sponsors the idea of reincarnation...but that rant over, it does have its merits. Especially since most of the books on the Qabalah tend to assume you know alot so aren't really big with explaining the basics.
I keep having the motivation to start writing again, but I'm having reservations. Mainly because I want it to be somewhat organized and coherent, but I'm afraid I'll just end up rambling and making no sense. So who knows, maybe I'll get started and post some here.
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Quote of the Day-
St Francis- Oh Divine Master grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For its in giving that we receive, in pardoning that we are pardoned, and in dying that we are born to eternal life.
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Saturday, June 28th, 2003
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I'm all unpacked and settled back in VB. The past few days have been really busy. Wed and Thurs were spent packing and unpacking, and attempting to keep the garage somewhat cleared. I haven't unpacked that much, since I'm hoping to be moving into a new apartment soon. So, my room is cozy and has all my essentials.
Yesterday was spent hanging with Ben, Anna, and assorted others. I got to go tubing again, which is always fun. Almost got run over by a mini yacht and everything. We then went bowling, and I still suck at it, but I had fun. Apparently I'm going to Ohio this week with Pat and Ben for some amusement parking. I would have gone last year, except for the whole shreaded shoulder thing. So, I'm glad I can go this year.
Today I hung out with Rory and Francis...always a blast. Today we ran around ideas for a store. We all have so many good ideas, we just need money to get it started. All things in time. I think we may get together for New Moon tomorrow, so that should rock.
And of course, the best news, I can legally have sex now! I love the Supreme Court!
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Quote of the day:
Anna: If we bleach them, we'd make more money
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So much packing to do. I only have one day left in my apartment, and then its back to Va Beach tomorrow. I have alot to do, but it should go fast. The big thing is I need to find my dang packing tape, or go buy more.
A big part of the speedy packing was Pat, who met me at the mall last night, and then came up to the apartment. So, a big thanks to him. Of course, the mall trip in itself was alot of fun. We basically ran around trying to find the new Harry Potter book and boxes for my books. Waldenbooks apparently was using the boxes for returns, and Barnes and Nobles "couldnt give theirs away." In retaliation, I took a whole lot of the Waldenbooks circular to help wrap my breakables. After stopping by Target and Toys R Us, we decided to go to Best Buy to look at DVD's. And lo and behold, on the checkout counter is a copy of the new Harry Potter, so I bought it and the Family Guy DVD collection. On the way back to the mall, the golf store had alot of boxes laid outside, so we stopped and got those, and then celebrated with Blizards from Dairy Queen.
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Quote of the Day:
Me: Alright, that's it, we're gonna napalm the whole area.
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Well, the big finale of the camping trip was a bust...nothing manifested, kind of a let down. The campsite itself was amazing, woods directly on the coast, so we were able to set up the campsite in the trees while having the rest of our set up directly on the beach. Also we were the only people around, except for a bunch of navy dorks up the road, but all in all, we were left alone. Alright, there was that one time during our meditation that the navy guys came to "say hi" which was kinda irritating. But they went away when they saw the swords. The energy of the place really peaked around 6ish/7ish.
When it came around to midnight, and the big show, everything started out really well. The watchtowers were invoked perfectly, the banishing worked well, hell even the initial conjurations worked. There was alot of resistance, and I'm not sure where that was coming from. But with each conjuration, it seemed like we were getting closer. There was even a faint outline blurring the circle at one point, and alot of shadows. Our lantern even turned on by itself immediately after the fire rekindled without our poking. Then just as we were starting the conjuration of fire everything fizzled out. Afterward there was just alot of taunting. I can't figure out what broke down, it should have worked. I'm gonna have to go back and do alot of work to refocus and realign.
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Quote of the day:
Pat: Well, the purpose of this life is to all you to accept and love God through your own free will. The Apocalypse is just a last minute way to get people's attention.
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Well, today had a huge disappointment. The insurance company called today with their offer for my settlement, and it was only 500 dollars for pain and suffering. I was sooooooooooo pissed off. After two really bitchy conversations with the claims people, I just hung up the phone and told them we're going to court. The bitch even has the balls to say that I injured my shoulder working for my dad, and that a torn rotator cuff wasn't that bad of an injury. For those of you around during last summer, you remember how completely fucked up I was as a result of that accident. Hell my shoulder is still messed up.
Needless to say that complicates financing matters for the upcoming year, especially if I have to wait for a lawyer to get the settlement. But I'm gonna continue to have faith and I know that everything is going to work out. I just really wanted to have this money thing settled.
I stopped by the majick shop today and talked to Michelle some while picking up last minute items for tomorrow. As I figured, she looked at me skeptically when I told her about the plan for tomorrow night. She just really doesn't get my majickal path sometimes. (oh, btw, I spell majick that way not for any particular reason, other than it looks cool) But hey, I learned that hardware stores sell sulfur...who knew.
I got John Dee's "Monad" and the "Grimiore of Armadel." I've thumbed through the grimiore, but haven't had a chance to get through the Dee book yet. More should be coming tomorrow. I'm not sure how useful the grimiore will be. I'll have to research its origins more. It could be a 400 year old fraud, it could be a more obsure occult work, or it could just be a blend of things, who knows.
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Quote of the Day:
My Grandmother: (In reference to the police) They can hang it up their ass.
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The seals for the camping trip are done! Pat, Greg, Anna, Ben, and I worked pretty much all day painting and drawing, my kitchen is a wreck, but its done. Pat and I also worked out which incenses to use, and I even managed to brew up my own mixture for the opening parts of the ritual. I'm very happy with the way things worked out, plus the guys were great.
I also had a surprise phone call from Merrye-Marie, which helped to close in everything...interesting her calling while the other four parts were together hmmmmmmmmm... She seems to be doing well, and I have no doubt that this weekend will benefit her as well. She also agreed to lend herself to the workings at midnight on Saturday.
Anna, Ben's girlfriend, is great. She came today to lend moral support...now if only all of us could find cool people to date, things would be dandy. Things are slowly coming into place, but then again, they should, we only have 48 hours until we have to get this thing on.
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Quote of the day:
Me: How's my Hebrew looking?
Ben: I don't know, what's Hebrew supposed to look like?
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Wednesday, June 18th, 2003
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Well, here it is, the count for the bi-annual closet purge. I have gotten rid of:
16 T-Shirts
3 Tank Tops
2 Sweatshirts
9 Oxford/Button-up Shirts
9 Ties
1 Belt
17 Pairs of Pants
8 Shorts
1 Pair of Pajama Bottoms
There you have it...I also got rid of 1.5 garbage bags of blank tapes today. Now I don't have as much to pack. YAY.
Tomorrow Ben and Pat, and maybe Greg come over to help finish preparing the seal for Saturday night. Plus we have to go over the process itself. Also, tomorrow starts the fasting/abstaning part of the preparation. According to the text, we are supposed to eat only one meal a day and refrain from any idle or malicious things(could the author of the Greater Key vague that up any?) So, I have to be a very good boy for the next three days, because like Pat said "its better to err on the side of doing too little."
I need to get in touch with Rory to get the sulfur, Francis to get another seal, and go to the majick shop to pick up candles and stuff...so much to do...
In closing...if anyone is actually reading this, you need to leave comments... My journal is lonely.
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Quote of the Day:
Me: I'm a little slow
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Today was a remarkable and fun day. Amanda was here for a good 9 hours of it, and we had a blast. We started out shopping, buying clothes, movies, and books (because yesterday's Amazon shopping spree wasn't enough) I bought another book on the Kabalah, as well as a remarkable book by Pope John Paul II. I've already started working on the latter. Its called "Crossing the Threshold of Hope" and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for answers about faith, prayer, and God in general.
Following the mall, Amanda and I rented "The Golden Child" a fun 80's movie about Eddie Murphy trying to rescue an anointed one from an evil demon. We also played Earthworm Jim 2 and ate pizza. Earthworm Jim rocks on so many levels. If only I could be as clever, witty, and random as those people. On the plus side, we managed to download the little dowoop intro that starts the game from Kazaa.
I have alot to get done for the camping trip, but as the days go on, I'm getting more and more confident. It should be a wild time.
Quote of the day:
His Holiness Pope John Paul II: "Be not afraid!" These are not words said into a void.... They are the words of Christ himself. Of what should we not be afraid? We should not fear the truth about ourselves.
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Well, with the end of the school year, I've decided to get rid of all of the old (and depressing) entries, and start over. Let's face it, I've been no-fun Scott for a while, and its time to change that.
Today was a very productive day. I did laundry, completely went through all of my clothes for the bi-annual closet purge (tally to come tomorrow as I prepare my Good Will bags), reserved the campgrounds, and started as well as finished a new book (one day is a new record for me) I also gave a huge shot in the arm to my occult library, ordering FIVE new books, including two grimoires and the diary of John Dee. I decided to keep Henry Aggripa's "Three Books of Occult Philosophy" and the "Fourth Book" on my wish list. After all a birthday is coming up. And nothing shows love more than the gift of five century old theories on the occult (hint hint)
The camping trip is coming up this Saturday...I'm a little nervous. Not only do we have to get all the seals painted, but I also have to go through and reread all the Goetic rituals to make sure things go well. I really hope everything works like its supposed to. I think more than anything, I'm worried that nothing will happen. I know I can control things if they get out of whack...plus I'll have the guys there...so that, I'm not worried about.
I can't tell if this fear is causing a blockage or if its just a typical spiritual cycle. But I haven't been able to focus my energy, or really even sense it in the past few days. Not to mention the whole crisis of faith starting up. Per usual my mind is causing the balance to be thrown off. All I can really do is just pray and focus. I should be used to these droughts, and I think I'm getting there. I would normally be very freaked out by now, instead I'm focusing more on study than practice. After all, summer is alway a good time to catch up on occult reading. Who knows, maybe my journal here will turn into that diary I'm supposed to be keeping, which charts my majickal progress. At any rate, wish me monsters for the camping trip...I'd hate to be burning all that incense and standing in a seal for nothing.
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Quote of the day:
Amanda: (In reference to our Ruby Tuesdays waiter) I think he's such an ass because he thinks he's cool...I'm glad I don't know him personally.
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bach480's journal
calm.
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energetic.
confused.
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accomplished.